"Oh...that's different"

This was a new one for me.

I tried to make this post not sound too judging or seem too cranky, but I have to admit I had both of these feelings going on...

While volunteering at the Oregon Jamboree over the weekend in the beer gardens, I found myself chatting with one of the other volunteers. She had overheard a comment I made to my husband about "after baby is here". This chica at face value appeared to be put together, she's an accountant, and expecting her first baby in by my best guess her mid-thirties. She was obviously excited to talk to another expecting mom about baby. So, as my husband is walking about she turns to me and asks 'did I hear you say you are expecting'. My response with a big smile on my face was 'Yes! We are expecting via adoption.' Her response with obvious disappointment was 'oh...that's different'.

That is all she had to say to me! No questions. Just disappointment. She then kind of turned around so she wouldn't have to talk to me anymore. I was at a bit of a loss over this brief conversation. Bewildered. It seriously felt like I was disqualified from being an expectant mom because baby isn't in my belly. Luckily, I'm not really sensitive to things like this, but I can't help to think of other expecting-via-adoption-soon-to-be-mommies out there. I have met some great girls who are also adopting, and they would have been crushed by this interaction.

So, dear disappointed chica, thank you for stating the obvious and letting me know that adopting is different. Those adopting do face the unknown each and every step along the way. We don't have a gaggle of girlfriends to turn to who know exactly what we are talking about, or have the ability to answer the 'what did you do' questions. (As I'm writing this I'm realizing how similar things really are when you are expecting regardless of how you are expecting when it's your first.) I'm sorry you were so uncomfortable/ignorant/disappointed by the topic of adoption being brought up in your presence that you didn't know what to say. Even though I don't have a baby in my belly, I'm still expecting. There are lots of things we could have talked about and next time you meet someone else who is expecting via adoption, you'd be impressed to realize how much you in your own expecting state have in common....

Do you know what you are having?

Do you have names picked out?

Is this your first baby?

How much time are you taking off, are you going to become a stay at home mom?

What is your nursery color scheme?


....see, lots to talk about!