Lonesome Adoption?

I have to say that our adoption journey has been lonely at times. I say that not knowing if "lonely" is really the right word to describe it. I've never excelled at sharing my feelings so I think that contributes to the situation. I, of course, have the hubbs next to me every step of the way, but there is just still something that feels lonely. I know there are others out there who have experienced the same things and have been googling various blogs looking...looking for something/someone to connect with. I don't know if it is because there is so much about adoption that so many don't know (including me, I'm definitely a newbie) that makes me not know how to talk about it.

Today, there were two examples of this odd feeling where I would have loved to have someone to relate to. First, I was super excited to get a phone call from our Idaho caseworker asking a few confirmatory questions for our home study. She is wrapping up the last of the details of the paperwork and expects the home study to be reviewed, revised, and approved by the end of the week (yay!!!!). This phone call was seriously the highlight of my day. As a couple of my coworkers asked about it, they were trying to be enthusiastic for me, but I think they were wondering what I was so excited about. :) I'm sure from their perspective we've been working on this whole home study thing for months and thought the last home visit we had meant we were done. Well, it has been months....but we are still working on it.

After the phone call started to sink in and I started to realize what it means for the home study to be complete I went into panic planning mode. My first thought was what if we got another phone call right away with a baby waiting for us to pick them up. Next thought, I need to check our bank account. Seriously. Happy baby thoughts quickly dissolved into 'how are we going to pay for this?' thoughts. One thing I talk about less than my feelings is talking about money. Of course it will all work out, but that lonely isolated feeling crept in again. Who can we talk to this about? Do we ask our caseworker what other couples do, how they feel going through what we are going through?

Anywho (remember saying that like 10 years ago, old school I know) - now that is off of my chest, I feel better. Thank you blog for listening.

Next dilemma...what font to use in our profile...

I'm not joking!

I'm tentatively liking Magneto.

Except, I don't l*o*v*e how the numbers look as much as I like how letters look.

Stay tuned...