Race in Adoption

A topic that frequently comes up about our adoption is race. It is a topic that elicits a lot of questions and I often feel like I have to explain why Jake and I are in a "transracial" program with our adoption agency. A lot of people have a lot of VERY strong opinions about race in adoption. So much so that I contemplated naming this post something different so as not to attract undesired attention from people who seek out adoption blogs for the sole purpose of bashing them and leaving horrible comments. Although this topic can become extremely complicated, I believe that it doesn't need to be.

When I look back at much of my childhood there was a lot of simplicity in it. Believe in God and have faith. Live by the 10 commandments. Love deeply. Don't be hurtful - whether it be intentional or not. Be thoughtful enough to consider how others might feel when expressing your opinion and thoughts. Everyone is equal. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Having an opinion doesn't make you right. Be kind. Live life with grace. Be humble, yet confident in who you are because you are valuable. Give to others who have less than you. Appreciate the little things. I could go on and on, but there is simplicity in all of these things.

This is going to be my (our) approach to having a transracial family. Yes, there are things that will be different. We do not, however, need to make it complicated.

While in our training our adoption agency requires there was a lot of time spent on race in adoption. We ended up having the only black man in the entire class sitting next to us with his wife who is white. Super amazing couple. Jermaine and Jessica and Jake and I clicked immediately and would have been great friends had we stayed in Idaho. Jermaine works in law enforcement and does a lot of work with keeping college athletes on the straight and narrow. He is also a motivational speaker. Our agency asked him to talk a little bit about raising his two boys (Jessica was his second wife and I can't remember his first wife's race, so maybe mixed kiddos maybe not) in a mostly white community. Everything he spoke of - and he called it out later when just talking to Jake and me - didn't have to do with race. He spoke a lot about awareness and building an inner confidence in your child to tackle whatever may come their way. Race issues weren't the only issues his sons were going to encounter in their lives an he wanted to prepare them for that. Up until talking with Jermaine and Jessica the things they were saying and the way they were presenting them in class was making us feel like we had NO business adopting a child of a different race. Of course, me being a bit outspoken at times, said this to Jermaine. He laughed and was very reassuring. They were just trying to make the point that race can't be ignored. They could have just said that! :o)

So, what triggered this post about race? Facebook. Buried in my news feed (I swear when you are adopting you have an eagle eye for all things adoption) I saw a reference to the below blog. I think this lady says what a lot of us think. We judge. Maybe we shouldn't.

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/06/why-are-so-many-celebrities-adopting.html

This blogger also includes some very thought provoking statistics (pulled from a sample of adoptive parent profiles that might not be a valid subset). I don't know how accurate they are. I'm going to try to research a bit more and I'll also share in an upcoming post my conversation with an agency in Georgia. It was all about race and eye opening.

Until next time!

P.s. The spellcheck is telling me transracial isn't a word...