The Ol' Ball and Chain

We did something extremely liberating the other day.

We had no idea it would feel so good.

We spent money.

When you are in the process of adopting your bank account becomes uber important. For me it had become something I didn't realize I was so fixated on. Constant running and rerunning of numbers. Strategizing a gazillion different ways how to budget our money. How much to save vs. how much to pay on debt vs. how  much to spend on groceries.

From what I hear this is just part of adoption. The money focus starts almost immediately after your first introduction and orientation into adoption. When you add all the fees, (which are rarely published for the general public, you have to call and seriously inquire into adoption to learn about the fees) potential travel expenses, unpaid maternity leave, actual baby expenses, you begin to realize that it all adds up to a LOT.

We are not perfect with our money, but we do budget and try to be reasonable. Money is always a balance. I remember going to high school with a daughter of an eye doctor who talked about it being irresponsible to buy something if you have to finance it. She felt that you should save up for everything before making a purchase. We were talking about cars specifically. All I could think was how long it would take me to save up to buy a car. Even a cheap car. My family's income was probably a quarter of what her family's was and our discretionary income was probably far less than that. I think there is a lot of wisdom in paying cash for things, but I also don't think it is always practical. Sure, buy a $5,000 car instead of a $20,000 car, but the ability to save up for the lower priced car when you have a lower income can get in the way of so much...like enjoying life. With that being said, I don't think that the definition of living within your means equates to being able to make the minimum payment on all the keeping-up-with-the-Jones'-nonessential things (boats, luxury cars, vacations). It's somewhere in between.

So, I guess my point in sharing my money views, is that we've been working hard to save up for our adoption and don't want to finance all of it if we don't have to. We bit off a lot this year by moving, buying a second house that needed work, and planning on our adoption. It freaks me out when I add it all up. We've both had moments where we felt that we've been giving up a few things and not knowing if we had the right balance. Still not really knowing whether we are striking the right balance or not, we decided to buy living room furniture. And it feels great. We've not done and bought so much for the purpose of preserving every extra penny for our adoption that it was down right liberating. I can't really explain it. I can't really explain why I decided to blog about it either, but it's part of the adoption journey I guess. Heck, furniture is practically an adoption-must since we will have so many friends and family over visiting. Now they'll have somewhere to sit. :o)