In the midst of crazy busy-ness coordinating an out of state move, getting Jake packed up to move a week before me, having a yard sale (my first ever), taking care of poor Pate and his shaved and sewn up paw, and trying to transition smoothly away from one job into another a song came on and made me pause. I grew up with music always playing in our home, I played for years in my school band, and still find it to be something that can sooth my soul.
Tim McGraw's "Still" was exactly the message I needed to go into and get through this week..."just be still".
I'm finding this to be such an emotional time. There are a few things around my house, the home that Jake and I have shared with our two boys for the past 6 1/2 years, that pull at my heart strings. The nursery that I have all planned out that we will no longer be bringing our first baby home to. The front door that my neighbor carried me through after I received the call about my brother. The office floor I curled up on and sobbed for what felt like a lifetime. The way the moon shines through my bedroom window. The spare bedrooms that overfill with family when they come to visit. The garden that always starts with the best intentions in the spring and always sees more weeds then vegetables by harvest time. My amazing neighbors.
I have so much to look forward to and be excited about. I honestly can't wait to get moved and settled. Come home to my husband and the boys each night (and soon baby). We've had to push the pause button on our adoption to get moved and redo some of the things we had already completed. This has pulled on my heart strings the hardest. I'm so ready to be a mom I just want to push the fast forward button and get through the waiting. I've found myself yearning for tomorrow, but for now, I'm just going to be still and appreciate what I have today.
LIFE UNFOLDING.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Newness
There is so much newness going on I'm not sure where to start!
I feel so much happiness and excitement with all this newness though, that I can't wait to feel the enjoyment it is all going to create. Okay, okay, I'm feeling the stress of it all too! :o)
In addition to starting a family we are moving back to Oregon! I accepted the job I interviewed for with Salem Health at their West Valley Critical Access Hospital. In my new role I will be overseeing an operating room remodel/expansion and work on business development for the hospital. I officially accepted the position last week and luckily had a trip planned for the Oregon Jamboree days later so got to check out Dallas a little more. Dallas is just East of Salem. It's a cute little town of about 14,000 and we think that is where we will try to find a place versus living in Salem. We want to be an active part of the community that we are working in and think we can do that in Dallas. Also while in Oregon Jake was able to meet up with the plumbing supervisor at Jet Industries and got a job too! We made the decision for me to take the new job without Jake having anything at all and decided we'd figure that part out later. Thankfully the later came quickly so it is one less thing to worry about.
My official start date is August 29th and was hoping to be getting us moved the week before that, but Jake's new company is pushing for him to start by the middle of August. There is so much to do between now and then, but I'm sure it will all work itself out and get done.
Another thing we are so thankful for is our super competent case worker helping us with our adoption. The agency we are working with is licensed in Oregon so we just have to change a little bit of paperwork and redo our home visit. We will be delayed a few months as we get moved and redo some stuff, but overall not too hard to accommodate. It was such a tough decision to move after living in Idaho for the past almost 8 years, and to be so far along in our adoption process to uproot ourselves. However, now that the decisions are made they are most definitely the right ones and will be great for our family.
Oregon, here we come!!!
I feel so much happiness and excitement with all this newness though, that I can't wait to feel the enjoyment it is all going to create. Okay, okay, I'm feeling the stress of it all too! :o)
In addition to starting a family we are moving back to Oregon! I accepted the job I interviewed for with Salem Health at their West Valley Critical Access Hospital. In my new role I will be overseeing an operating room remodel/expansion and work on business development for the hospital. I officially accepted the position last week and luckily had a trip planned for the Oregon Jamboree days later so got to check out Dallas a little more. Dallas is just East of Salem. It's a cute little town of about 14,000 and we think that is where we will try to find a place versus living in Salem. We want to be an active part of the community that we are working in and think we can do that in Dallas. Also while in Oregon Jake was able to meet up with the plumbing supervisor at Jet Industries and got a job too! We made the decision for me to take the new job without Jake having anything at all and decided we'd figure that part out later. Thankfully the later came quickly so it is one less thing to worry about.
My official start date is August 29th and was hoping to be getting us moved the week before that, but Jake's new company is pushing for him to start by the middle of August. There is so much to do between now and then, but I'm sure it will all work itself out and get done.
Another thing we are so thankful for is our super competent case worker helping us with our adoption. The agency we are working with is licensed in Oregon so we just have to change a little bit of paperwork and redo our home visit. We will be delayed a few months as we get moved and redo some stuff, but overall not too hard to accommodate. It was such a tough decision to move after living in Idaho for the past almost 8 years, and to be so far along in our adoption process to uproot ourselves. However, now that the decisions are made they are most definitely the right ones and will be great for our family.
Oregon, here we come!!!
Monday, August 1, 2011
"Oh...that's different"
This was a new one for me.
I tried to make this post not sound too judging or seem too cranky, but I have to admit I had both of these feelings going on...
While volunteering at the Oregon Jamboree over the weekend in the beer gardens, I found myself chatting with one of the other volunteers. She had overheard a comment I made to my husband about "after baby is here". This chica at face value appeared to be put together, she's an accountant, and expecting her first baby in by my best guess her mid-thirties. She was obviously excited to talk to another expecting mom about baby. So, as my husband is walking about she turns to me and asks 'did I hear you say you are expecting'. My response with a big smile on my face was 'Yes! We are expecting via adoption.' Her response with obvious disappointment was 'oh...that's different'.
That is all she had to say to me! No questions. Just disappointment. She then kind of turned around so she wouldn't have to talk to me anymore. I was at a bit of a loss over this brief conversation. Bewildered. It seriously felt like I was disqualified from being an expectant mom because baby isn't in my belly. Luckily, I'm not really sensitive to things like this, but I can't help to think of other expecting-via-adoption-soon-to-be-mommies out there. I have met some great girls who are also adopting, and they would have been crushed by this interaction.
So, dear disappointed chica, thank you for stating the obvious and letting me know that adopting is different. Those adopting do face the unknown each and every step along the way. We don't have a gaggle of girlfriends to turn to who know exactly what we are talking about, or have the ability to answer the 'what did you do' questions. (As I'm writing this I'm realizing how similar things really are when you are expecting regardless of how you are expecting when it's your first.) I'm sorry you were so uncomfortable/ignorant/disappointed by the topic of adoption being brought up in your presence that you didn't know what to say. Even though I don't have a baby in my belly, I'm still expecting. There are lots of things we could have talked about and next time you meet someone else who is expecting via adoption, you'd be impressed to realize how much you in your own expecting state have in common....
Do you know what you are having?
Do you have names picked out?
Is this your first baby?
How much time are you taking off, are you going to become a stay at home mom?
What is your nursery color scheme?
....see, lots to talk about!
I tried to make this post not sound too judging or seem too cranky, but I have to admit I had both of these feelings going on...
While volunteering at the Oregon Jamboree over the weekend in the beer gardens, I found myself chatting with one of the other volunteers. She had overheard a comment I made to my husband about "after baby is here". This chica at face value appeared to be put together, she's an accountant, and expecting her first baby in by my best guess her mid-thirties. She was obviously excited to talk to another expecting mom about baby. So, as my husband is walking about she turns to me and asks 'did I hear you say you are expecting'. My response with a big smile on my face was 'Yes! We are expecting via adoption.' Her response with obvious disappointment was 'oh...that's different'.
That is all she had to say to me! No questions. Just disappointment. She then kind of turned around so she wouldn't have to talk to me anymore. I was at a bit of a loss over this brief conversation. Bewildered. It seriously felt like I was disqualified from being an expectant mom because baby isn't in my belly. Luckily, I'm not really sensitive to things like this, but I can't help to think of other expecting-via-adoption-soon-to-be-mommies out there. I have met some great girls who are also adopting, and they would have been crushed by this interaction.
So, dear disappointed chica, thank you for stating the obvious and letting me know that adopting is different. Those adopting do face the unknown each and every step along the way. We don't have a gaggle of girlfriends to turn to who know exactly what we are talking about, or have the ability to answer the 'what did you do' questions. (As I'm writing this I'm realizing how similar things really are when you are expecting regardless of how you are expecting when it's your first.) I'm sorry you were so uncomfortable/ignorant/disappointed by the topic of adoption being brought up in your presence that you didn't know what to say. Even though I don't have a baby in my belly, I'm still expecting. There are lots of things we could have talked about and next time you meet someone else who is expecting via adoption, you'd be impressed to realize how much you in your own expecting state have in common....
Do you know what you are having?
Do you have names picked out?
Is this your first baby?
How much time are you taking off, are you going to become a stay at home mom?
What is your nursery color scheme?
....see, lots to talk about!
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