Packing :o)

We are packing! After putting in an offer a month ago, we will finally be closing on the house either next Tuesday or Wednesday. Purchasing a home was much more difficult this time due to the changes in the industry, but we are almost done and finally feel comfortable to start packing.

The best part about moving will be getting our homestudy redone finally! I emailed our caseworker today and we will be having a new caseworker come out from Bend. The downside of this is how much more they are going to charge us and how little they are actually supporting our file now, but it is better than starting completely over.

Who knew I would ever be so excited to pack up my stuff!

Holidays

There is magic and joy in the holidays that I find to be so completely addicting. The traditions we grew up with are now becoming new again as we've become adults and there are littles running around my older sister's house. And, of course, there are some new fun ones....like hay on the roof for the reindeer. It's apparently a farm thing. :o) Watching the holiday season through the eyes of a child is so honest and heart warming, which is exactly what I need this time of year. I need the heart warming magic and joy to help keep my heart patient. Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve was the last place I went with all my siblings just a few months before my brother was killed. So this time of year I think my heart yearns for that togetherness feeling that I once knew just a little more than usual. This year I have been so thankful and appreciative of living closer to my family. We've almost always travelled during the holidays and only missed the long ten hour drive over more than one mountain pass on ice and snow a little bit. The drive was becoming a bit of a tradition in it's own right though with our regular stop at Mom's house in Burns, grabbing coffee in Bend or Sisters, running the dogs at Lost Lake, and calling/texting the second we hit Sweet Home to let everyone know we were almost there.

So...this year was a bit different, but great. One new great experience we had this year was Jake and I getting to take my mom to the Nutcracker the day before Christmas Eve. Going to the ballet in Portland was fabulous! I absolutely fell in love with the venue, the ballerinas (the sugar plum fairy was my favorite), and the orchestra. And getting all dressed up to go out was fun too...

Jake doesn't dress up often, but is oh so extra handsome when he does!

An up-do :o)

And my super cute madre!

It really was a great experience. I don't know how often I'll be able to talk Jake into taking me to the ballet, but I can't wait to go again.

Then there was Christmas....

We got up really early on Christmas morning so we could make it down to Sweet Home before Amelia and Olivia woke up. We made it with plenty of time to spare, got the homemade cinnamon rolls in the oven, the coffee brewing, and then waited like kids ourselves for the girls to wake up.



Super adorable in their matching pajamas (tradition).

Papa with his little Doll.

These girls are just so amazing! They loved that they got presents to open, but they loved having so many people to play and share with even more. Amelia helped coordinate the present opening and was so excited to be the "giver". So sweet. And little Olivia wanted to stop and play with everything she opened. Papa Greg found himself reading the new books that got opened almost immediately.

I can't wait to see what next year brings!

What about a house?

What else could one impatiently waiting a home inspection for their adoption do with their time...well, why not a little house hunting. I love real estate anyway so having a reason to look for another house is fabulous. We found a house to rent while we made the quick transition from Idaho to Oregon, but after being home owners for so long we found it terribly difficult to be satisfied living in a rental. It took quite a bit of looking, a property we loved but had foundation issues so no-go, one with fall-in-love-worthy acreage that slipped through our fingers, but in the end...we might just have found something...

This cute little Spanish-style on half an acre is pending...we are under contract awaiting a home inspection scheduled on Tuesday! If they don't find anything major we hope to close by January 13th. It's too early to jump for joy just yet, but I can't help it. I love the idea of having our home awaiting our baby. If all works out this will be our family home! 

Profile

While we've had some extra time awaiting our agency we decided to get a jump on our profile. Wanting to document this time in our lives as we are expecting our first child we put in a call to Toby with Gobias Media to schedule a photo shoot. Toby does some of the most artistic and beautiful photos and we were excited to have him agree to meet us on a crisp fall day at Laurelhurst Park in Portland. We got some great updated photos of us and are still trying to decide which one to use as our main profile picture that will be sent out to birthmoms.

One thing we didn't anticipate was how old we look. :o) When did that happen?!?



A Little Reminder

It's always nice to see a little reminder like this. Things happen when they are supposed to. :o)

Waiting

I think everyone that we've gotten advice from has told us that the waiting involved with adoption gets hard. I, of course, thought it can't be that bad (kind of like, our children are going to be perfect and never cry in public). I mean we aren't one of those desperately-crazy-give-us-a-baby couples. Or so I thought. We may be approaching that status. Or at least, we have our moments. Or, to be more specific, I have those moments (I won't drag my husband into this crazy bucket with me...not yet anyway). Our wait has unfortunately started earlier in the process then we anticipated. We aren't waiting on a baby. We are waiting on our adoption agency. Some moments I'm okay with this, but without question there are moments where I am not. Our agency emailed us a couple of weeks ago and let us know that the case worker who is travelling from Boise to our area only comes to Oregon once a month and that November's trip was already booked. No room to fit us in the schedule. Awesome. December or January should work though. Awesome.

I should have known I would be challenged with the waiting aspect of this journey. Having patience is something I struggle with on almost a daily basis. I am patient deficient. I was born that way. Literally. My poor mother was only at the hospital for 20 minutes or so before I decided to show up. Maybe that was a good thing for her. Maybe not. I was born waiting for no one. Completely on my schedule. Really, who needs a doctor during delivery?

I'm ready to be a mom. Give me a baby. Now. Or maybe tomorrow...tomorrow is good too.

Actually what I find myself fixated on is what it will be like to get the news that a birth mom has chosen us. Will she be in her 7th month of pregnancy? (This is when many adoption agencies start having their birth moms look at profiles to choose parents for their unborn baby.) Or, will we get the phone call telling us we've been chosen and birth mom has already delivered...how fast can we get a flight booked? What will we be doing? Will I be in a meeting at work? Home cooking? Will I cry? Will the bags be packed and ready to go? I should make a list of what to pack. I always forget something...

Funny thing about this line of fixation is that I've totally skipped over details I still have questions about and we haven't been told about. Where and when do we buy a car seat? Crap - I should probably research car seats...oh wait, no need. I'll just call my older sister. She'll know what I need. Hello speed dial. My older sister and mom can rock-paper-scissors to see who gets the pleasure of my I'm-a-new-mom-and-don't-know-what-I'm-doing phone calls. Maybe I can split things up into day and night shifts for them...good idea. Any other volunteers?

When will I feel like a mom? I do already feel like an expectant mom...

So. What to do while we wait? Our case worker did praise us while she was at our home in Idaho for our "continuing on like normal" approach to the process. This was easier in Idaho. We didn't have delays. We also had a "normal". Since moving I don't think we've quite gotten into a normal routine yet, and getting to that point will be helpful. I think we get closer all the time, but we are missing our regular group of friends and supportive co-workers that we saw all the time.

Maybe I'll go into project mode. Do all the super-time-consuming things that people do when they are expecting...any ideas? If there were a couple little things you look back and wish you did in preparation for your kids, what are they?

I do need to go back and document all of the special adoption-days and milestones we have reached already. Sounds like a good place to start!

Oregon & an Adoption Update

Come to find out moving is a really big deal. Exhausting even. With that being said, moving has been one of the best decisions we have ever made and I think we are all settled in! Moving back to Oregon has felt like we've moved back home. I've never had the desire to return to my hometown, but there is something about my home state that has drawn us back and welcomed us with open arms. Our new little town is picturesque and adorable. It is quiet and the pulse here is relaxed and refreshing. I work with some amazing people who have accepted me more warmly and kindly than I've ever experienced. Same goes for our new church community. I love our little church. It's beautiful. Our priest....hilarious, unpredictable, and addicting to listen to.

We're just missing one thing...progress on our adoption. Actually, there has been movement, but it has been backward (insert sad face here). Moving into a new state has resulted in adding some complications to our adoption. Following a couple of rough weeks we've decided to return to our optimistic state of mind and put faith in the journey we are meant to be on.

I have to admit I've stumbled a bit the last few weeks. My faith in our adoption agency had all but dwindled until I realized that isn't who I should be putting my faith in. I do need to trust them and trust that they are making good decisions for all involved. I hope they are.

So, what am I talking about? We were reassured that our move would be no problem with our agency. They cover Oregon. What they didn't tell us is that they don't really cover Oregon. They are agreeing to send our caseworker to redo our homestudy and complete our individual interviews. They are also agreeing to network for us. What they are not agreeing to is supporting us post placement. Once a baby is placed with you there are months of followup that happens. It is fairly normal for your adoption to not be finalized for up to a year. Our agency won't commit to doing this for us due to resource availability (we think this was purely a financial decision on their part). What this means is that our agency with have to ask another agency if they will be willing to enter into a sub-contracting type relationship with them. Another agency does not have to agree to this, and I'm sure for them to do so there will be some extra large fees attached. Disappointing.

This is really the first time that our journey to build our family has felt like a business transaction. It is unnatural. The good news to this is I am one hell of a businesswoman. I just never knew I would use those skills to build my family. My inner mama-bear-I'll-do-whatever-it-takes instinct has been tapped for sure.

I also have amazing support. My husband. My family. My friends. One of the wonderful women I mentioned above (we work together and go to the same church) is a mother of four adopted children. She has been my adoption (labor) coach the last couple of weeks (she's also a nurse and gives awesome flu shots...didn't even feel it...true story). What a God-send. She reminds me to breath. She reminds me to laugh. She reminds me it will all be worth it.

(insert deep breath here)

There it is - a quick update. I look forward to having more progress to share with everyone soon!